We Need to Talk (Repost)

I got back to Juneau last night, but for some reason life refuses to slow down! Today, while I get back up to speed, I hope you enjoy this repost. I wrote it in November of  2008, and if I'm completely honest, I still struggle with it. One thing I do believe though, His grace is sufficient for me...

I’ve decided to write a letter today. It’s not a normal, how-you-doing letter—it’s a break-up letter. This relationship has been going on for too long; in fact, most of my life. I tried to leave before, but it just seems like I have always got sucked back in. Enough is enough though and I’m calling it quits, once and for all. I have a better destiny ahead than what this limiting relationship has allowed me to have so it’s time to move on. Now I pray God gives me the strength to live out the completion. Here it goes,

Dear People-Pleasing,

I’ve known you a long time and we’ve been through a lot together. I remember you being there with me in school as I tried so hard to get good grades and still make sure everyone liked me. You told me though that I couldn’t come off too smart because then people would not like me anymore. I listened and listened intently, trying to fit in and stand out at the same time. I bowed down again and again to what you told me people were expecting from me. I was the good one, the quiet one, the one who didn’t make any waves or cause any trouble.

I remember trying to rebel in the tiniest ways in my teenage years against my box (like those teenagers so often do), but you made me feel so guilty, like I was letting everyone down. 

You weren't content with running my human relationships; you even tried to horn in on my relationship with God. I see now that you saw this as competition. If I was listening to God, I couldn’t listen to you and you were so jealous. When you finally realized I wouldn’t give up this relationship, you changed your strategy. You tried to tell me that Jesus could be my Lord, but that I could still get everyone to like me and we would never have any confrontations. Years and experience have taught me otherwise. I can’t say Jesus is my Lord and then not listen to Him. I’ve seen it over and over again, but I tried to ignore it and hoped it would go away. The truth is still the truth. Mediocrity and obedience don’t cohabitate or mingle. I either have to embrace mediocrity and live to please everyone like you want or I have to obey Jesus and walk out the great destiny God has for my life.

You have limited me and in some ways, crippled me. Thankfully, I know Jesus is the Healer and I don’t have to stay broken, but I have sided with you too long to my own detriment. I have spent way too many hours obsessing about what I should have done or how I could have done this or that better. Where has it got me? Absolutely nowhere. If I sound a little angry, it’s because I am. You stole from me and tried to tell me you were my friend. The next time you come to my door, promising to make everything better, I can’t let you in. I can’t trust you and trust Jesus at the same time. It’s over and I’m moving on.

You made me see myself as weak, stupid, and oblivious to what was really going on. Like any abusive relationship, you ran me down and told me I was nothing without you, that nobody would want me if I didn’t try so hard to please them. Now I know you are a liar and you never had my interests at heart. You just wanted to keep me bound away and ineffective. As bad as it was, I grew comfortable with our situation, but for my own sake, the sake of my marriage, and the sake of my children—I’m getting away from you. It’s not me, it’s you; and I mean that in all sincerity.

I need to be free to live my life and pursue God’s dreams for me. He trusts me and has given me a lot to do. You always told me I would mess everything up and never see anything through, but His confidence in me is definitely contagious. He said that I didn’t choose Him, but He chose me and He appointed me to produce a lot of fruit that will last. He’s never been wrong before, and He’s really opened my eyes to the devastation you’ve caused me already and what you want to do to my future.

So good-bye, People-Pleasing—don’t call, don’t write, don’t come to the house, don’t speak to my children, nothing. I don’t want any more contact. Tough decisions have to be made when we move forward, and you’re just dead weight. I wish I could say thanks for everything, but that would be a lie. I plan (along with God) for me to have a long, joy-filled, healthy life. The only way I can do that is without you.

Sincerely,

Jason

I don't know if it sounds silly as a letter, but thankfully I don't care anymore! I hope you see the point. God has promised to give us revelation in this season of what has held us back and He will always help us to overcome these things. Pain, heartache, fear, doubt, complacency, indifference, or even people-pleasing—nothing will stop God when we allow Him to work in us.

How about you? Do you have a relationship you need to break off so you can move forward? Tell us about it—write a letter or keep it short, up to you. Make a decision today and let God do a lasting work to move you forward.