One of the very first I read (even though he was #28 on the list) was Matt’s post on Becoming Last. Instead of simply exploring the definition of grief, he made it practical by sharing about a family he knows who is grieving and understandably shaken due to the ongoing illness of their baby, Madison.
Matt asked us to do 3 things: pray for them, go to their site (at CaringBridge) to leave a note of encouragement, and consider giving to help defray medical costs.
I prayed right then and there and headed over to the site. Feeling good about the good I was doing, I read a little about what was going on, found a guestbook where you can leave a comment, and clicked the button to add my note.
It asked me to enter my email address. I was a little leery, but I did. Then it took me to a registration page.
Huh? I thought. Oh no! I didn’t know I’d have to take the time to register. I have to give my personal info? What if this organization sends me all kinds of stuff? Do I want to mess with the hassle? I thought this was going to be an in-and-out sort of deal. Nobody will care or even know that you didn’t leave a comment.
I’m sorry to say that I almost closed out the window and did nothing. I just stared at the page until finally I had to give myself a good talking to.
Why are you hesitating? You know this family would appreciate the encouragement. You know it’s not going to take you that long… What is your problem?
Turns out I’m selfish. The problem wasn’t leaving a comment or not. It was that I was ready to do it until an extra step was introduced that made it seem “too difficult.” How often do we determine to do something good for someone but give up or talk ourselves out of it because we think it will cost us too much?
Maybe it’s time, maybe it’s money, maybe it’s our own comfort…
I’m not pretending this is some deep, dark confession or that it’s the worst thing I’ve done in the past month, day, or probably even hour. That’s not my point. I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit over the reality that I was willing to give up because I’m busy, to not do the good my Father would do for a hurting family over something so ridiculously trivial.
One of those verses that scares me and challenges me is James 4:17, “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.” Did someone just punch you in the gut and suck all the air out of the room? Just me? Okay.It’s amazing how the Christmas season displays (and sometimes celebrates) rampant selfishness yet points us to ultimate selflessness. A miracle is seen in a Father giving His Son, a Son surrendering everything for the redemption plan.
I’m too tired. I’m too busy. I’m too important. I’m too strapped… The next time I try to back out of showing God’s love and goodness and try to use one of these or another excuse, I hope I remember Madison, her family, and the Father who wants to do them good.
If you’re feeling condemnation, that’s not what I’m after, or God for that matter. I know I’ve got a way to go and I’m humbled to have people in my life who do seem to jump at the chance to do good whenever they can. I’m choosing to learn from them and follow that example.
I want to be that generous person who doesn’t hesitate, gives until it hurts, and shows off God’s grace and mercy in my life. I don’t believe I’m there, but His word keeps working inside me and I know I’m changing (even if it’s slowly).
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